Moony's Eyes
by heytheremeranda
Summary: The aftermath of The Prank


Remus wouldn't even look at him.

And that alone nearly broke Sirius' heart into two. He was so used to seeing those amber orbs stealing glancnes at him during lessons. Or peering out at him from under Remus' fringe when he was reading a book and could feel Sirius looking at him. They were one of the things that he loved about Remus Lupin. How the boy had built up so many walls but if you wanted to see how he was feeling all you would have to do was seach in his eyes which seemed to be a window into his soul. They would shine with such a brightness when Remus was happy or excited .The brightest things in Sirius' world when so much of it had seemed dark. Like they were a beacon of light to help him find his way once more. Or when Remus was upset about something they would shine with an unshed wetness because Merlin forbid if Remus ever allowed himself to cry.

Sirius really didn't take for granted those eyes of Remus Lupin until he was no long the subject of them. As soon as he would walk into the room or approach Remus, they were down catsed or checking out the hole in that stupid jumper that was too big for Remus. The one that Sirius wanted to throw out because it was so raggedy but at the same time he wanted to curl up in it because it smelled like his Remus. Or the Remus that was his. He wasn't for sure which one it was these days. Though probably the latter.

Never before had he felt such a love, not once in his life did someone ever wrap their arms around him and whisper promises into his ear. How he would never have to be alone. How Remus could never stop loving him. They made him fill up with such a joy, such a happiness but now that too was gone. And all because he had let a school boy grudge get in the way. The oppertunity and moment was there as Snape stood in the corridor. Jeering about how he knew what Remus was, how he was going to spread it around the school. The truth about the quiet Marauder and his secret that he was going to take to the grave. Sirius could have punched Snape or even sent a nasty hex his way but anger filled every inch of his blood. The Black in him came out in one swift moment as he revealed the secret that could result in the death of Remus as well.

He was stupid and now weeks later he would do anything in the world to go back in time and stop that night from happening. To have not recieved detention on the night of the full moon, to have went out with the others to the willow but no- There was nothing he could do but watch the shell of his once best friend and lover try to pick up the pieces on his own.

Sirius had tried for days after the Prank to beg for forgiveness, to make Remus understand that it was nothing but a joke that had gone to far. But when he saw Remus weary eyes he knew that there would be no forgiveness. But Sirius was determine and kept on tyring, bringing pounds of chocolate to Remus, offering to do his homework but he was only met with the tired voice of Remus. Would he please just stop it and go away? Remus wanted to be alone.

So that's what he did.

As much as he didn't want to Sirius knew that Remus needed time and he would give it to him. He stopped with the begging, stopped leaving chocolates and sweets on Remus' pillows and stopped seeking out the other Marauder when he was on his own. The ache in Sirius' chest grew each day and he didn't know how much longer he could keep this up. He needed Remus. Needed to see his eyes bright and alive onve more. To hold him in his arms and promise that he would protect him from the world. It wasn't until that day in the Common Room that Sirius felt some kind of hope.

With Moony no longer around to help with his homework, Sirius was left to his own devices. So he was huddled at the table in the corner, itching at his brow as he read over his Charms notes, trying to make some sense of the lesson he had slept through. Then out of no where he heard the quietest sound, one that someone might mistaken for as a slight breeze but he knew what it was. It was the sound of his Moony, the one who had taken to gliding around as quiet as a ghost on most days.

Sirius looked up and was surprised to see that Remus was looking at him, wrenching his hands as he stood there in that jumper Sirius loved and hated at the same time. His face was unreadable though his eyes looked more alive than Sirius could remember them being in such a long time.

"Padfoot..." Even his voice sounded hoarse, like he hadn't used it since the full moon. Sirius opened his mouth to say something but was cut off as Remus held up one of his hands. "I...Sirius..." He stammered than gave a deep sigh, dropping both of his hands down to his sides.

Sirius took a deep breath as his eyes moved over Remus, trying to remember the way he was looking at him in case he never saw those eyes again.

"I hate you but I love you." Remus finally said and Sirius was sure that his heart did a jump of joy. "Just... give me to the next full moon, okay?" And with that Remus wrapped his arms around himself and scurried up the stairs to the dorm.

Blinking, Sirius looked at the spot where Remus had been standing just seconds ago. A smile slowly crept onto his face, there was hope for the two of them after all. Remus stilled loved him- His smile grew even wider, the full moon was tomorrow night.


End file.
